'He says I am very inconsistent...'

Updated: 23 September, 2020 07:40 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

The one thing he says is a problem has to do with my communication. He says I am sometimes very communicative, and sometimes not communicative at all.

Illuatration/ Uday Mohite
Illuatration/ Uday Mohite

picMy boyfriend and I have been together for a year or so, and think we have a pretty good relationship. The one thing he says is a problem has to do with my communication. He says I am sometimes very communicative, and sometimes not communicative at all. I don't know if this is a problem, but he has pointed it out often and says this lack of consistency on my part makes it difficult for him to have conversations with me. I don't think he has the same issues, so I am trying to work on this. How can I be more consistent?

It's great that the two of you speak about things that bother you. I can't comment on whether his complaint is valid, because that is something only the two of you are qualified to discuss. If there is an inconsistency in how you communicate, why not try and ask him to mention it when this happens, so you can analyse why you feel a certain way. We aren't meant to be open and communicative all the time, because it's normal to not feel like saying anything when we're not in the mood. Your boyfriend has one way of communicating, but that doesn't mean you need to have the same manner. This isn't a problem if the two of you can try and understand each other's moods and need for space a little better. It will happen in time.

Is it normal for two people in a relationship to spend every minute of their day together? My girlfriend thinks this is how it should be, but it is starting to stifle me. How do I get her to understand that I need time off, without hurting her feelings?

Why can't you tell her that this is hurting your relationship and be honest about this? To not be open can only lead to resentment down the line. If she is serious about you, I think she will take your comments seriously.

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First Published: 23 September, 2020 04:59 IST

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