He thinks I spend too much on food

Published: Dec 10, 2019, 06:21 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He wants me to pay more because he says that is only fair, although I think splitting the bills equally is the right thing to do

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been living in with my boyfriend for a few months now, and we always seem to have arguments about grocery bills. He thinks I spend too much on fancy food we don't need, even though he happily eats anything I prepare. He wants me to pay more because he says that is only fair, although I think splitting the bills equally is the right thing to do. If he doesn't want to pay his share, why should he eat what I have paid for? Am I being unreasonable? I am tired of constantly having to explain my bills.

Arguments about financial issues can be damaging for any relationship and should be addressed openly and honestly even if they are difficult. If you believe he isn't being fair, you have to put your foot down and explain why that is. If he disagrees, listen to his reasons and come up with a compromise that works for you both. For instance, he doesn't have to eat what he doesn't pay for, if that works for you both despite how petty is may seem. Tell him why this can damage the bond you both share, and don't allow it to lead to further resentment. Bills can really be a slippery slope, so initiate that chat soon.

An office colleague and I kissed during an offsite a month ago, and he has been avoiding me ever since. We were both drunk, so I don't hold it against him and expected him to brush it off like I did. I don't know what he thinks about me and why he is refusing to speak to me. It is making things awkward for me at work. How do I resolve this?

You may simply have to reach out to him and have an open conversation. This is obviously difficult for him to deal with. He probably has a radically different idea of what happened, and your clarification may help. Tell him that meeting you will also make his life at work easier.

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