He wants a threesome but I'm not so sure

Updated: Jul 17, 2020, 05:28 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He has been giving me hints about a threesome because he knows a friend who is open to it

Illutration/ Uday Mohite
Illutration/ Uday Mohite

picMy boyfriend and I have been together for three years and we love each other a lot. We are also very open to all kinds of experiences, and both know that our sexual life has started to become a little boring. He has been giving me hints about a threesome because he knows a friend who is open to it. I am not comfortable with the idea yet, and he says I am a prude. I don't mind trying it, but I am worried because I don't know how this will affect our relationship. What if he only wants threesomes from now on? Will I start to feel less important? What do you think I should do?

Sexuality between couples is a very private thing and depends entirely upon their comfort levels and openness. If he wants to try something that you aren't comfortable with, my advice would be to avoid it until you feel okay about it. To try something just to avoid being called a prude is a bad idea, because you may not enjoy the experience to begin with, and may end up with feelings of resentment that may surface at some point in the future. It makes more sense to discuss these emotions, explain why you don't feel ready, and suggest speaking to a sex therapist who can help you both spice things up without the need for a third person.

The relationship I am in is horrible and taking a huge toll on my mental health. I want to end it but can't because I have lent my partner a lot of money and know I may not get it back. What should I do?

You have to evaluate the price you are willing to pay, in terms of your physical and mental health, against any monetary losses you may have to incur. Have you asked your partner about this directly? There are legal options available, but we know how cumbersome they can be, and what additional challenges they drag in with them.

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