Help! How do I tell her how I feel?
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I have a huge crush on a girl at work and have been chatting with her a lot whenever I get an opportunity. She is fairly comfortable with me now and has told me about her earlier relationships and how they ended. She has a problem with guys asking her out for some reason, because she says it's as if guys can't handle simple friendships. I don't know how to tell her that I have feelings for her because it seems as if it's exactly the kind of thing she doesn't want to hear. I want her to know how I feel though, without coming across as creepy or as someone who hasn't been paying attention to what she says. What do I do?
If you have managed to find some level of comfort with her, it is only a matter of time before you can gauge how she thinks of you and what sort of conversations the two of you can have without making things seem creepy. Getting to know someone is always a great idea because it teaches you a lot about what you can and can't say, and how to say something in a manner that they will be more receptive towards. I suggest you wait, stop worrying about declaring anything, and simply let things happen naturally. There will come a time when you will be able to tell her this without it seeming as if you haven't been listening to her.
What's the best way to try and get someone to notice that you exist, without having to shout it out?
I'm not sure I understand what you mean. If you're trying to attract someone's attention, it's usually a question of listening to what they have to say, and responding in a manner that addresses their concerns or questions, as opposed to relying on small talk that means nothing. You don't have to shout anything out if what you're saying is sensible and relevant to a conversation.
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