'His behaviour changed after I denied sex'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I have been dating someone for a few months and it seemed like things were going really well, until we discussed sex and he asked if I would consider sleeping with him. I told him I wasn't interested at the time because, even though I liked him, I wanted some time to be comfortable enough before I committed to a physical relationship. Since that day, he has stopped responding to my messages with the eagerness that he used to. We met once or twice after that, but he is no longer that interested in spending time with me. I don't know if I did anything wrong, but he makes it seem as if I am to blame for how things have changed between us. How can I rectify this?
Why do you have to rectify anything? He wanted to have sex with you, and you didn't, which is a perfectly acceptable scenario. You have a right to your reasons, irrespective of whether he thinks they are valid or not, and have a right to decide what you want to do with your body. If he can't respect that, why do you feel as if you're the one responsible for ruining anything? Rectify it by cutting him out of your life and finding someone who respects your decisions.
My brother has a problem with my girlfriend and wants me to end our relationship because he thinks she is bad for me. How do I convince him to give her a chance?
Ask him what his reasons are and try getting him to see your point of view. Also consider going out with them both a couple of times, so he can get a sense of who she really is. If neither of these things works, simply avoid meeting them together. He has your best interests at heart, but this doesn't necessarily mean he's right. You should be able to make up your own mind about whether someone is good or bad for you.
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