His child hates me no matter what I do

Updated: Mar 14, 2019, 08:12 IST | Dr Love

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His child hates me no matter what I do

Dr LoveMy boyfriend used to be married and has been single for a few years now. He has a 10-year old child from the marriage though, who he spends a lot of time with because he and his ex-wife have shared custody. I get along really well with my boyfriend, but his son hates me. He doesn't speak to me, and ignores my gifts or my repeated attempts at being nice to him. This is starting to bother my boyfriend, who wants us to get along and thinks I should make more of an effort with his son. I have tried everything I could and have nothing else to offer. If this continues, I am afraid my boyfriend may choose to end our relationship. How can I save it?
It is only natural for the child to resent you, given that he sees you as an unwanted or unnecessary substitute for a parent. He is 10 years old though, which means his ability to understand this situation will be limited. You may think you have tried everything, but there is always a way with children if you persist. I suggest you speak to a counsellor to try and get a better idea of options you may simply not have considered. Speak to your boyfriend too, and get him to empathise with your side of the story. This relationship doesn't have to fail if there is a better effort made by the two of you towards communicating and trying to reach out to this child. Your boyfriend has a role to play in how his son perceives you too, so there is a lot that he can do as well.

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