His family doesn't accept our live-in

Updated: Aug 22, 2019, 07:23 IST | DR Love |

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy boyfriend and I have lived together for almost a decade. We decided early on that we didn't want to marry because we didn't like the idea of being tied together legally. We are very happy together, but his family has never really accepted our arrangement and is still in denial about us being together. I am not invited to their functions unless my boyfriend insists, and they barely speak to me when I am there, which makes me feel unwanted. I don't know why they behave like this because my family is very welcoming towards my boyfriend. This is a big deal for me because, even if we don't marry, we intend to live together and I would like to feel as if I am part of his family too. What can I do to change how they treat me?
If they haven't accepted this situation in almost a decade, it's safe to assume they are too close-minded to take any initiative to change this. Your boyfriend should have a bigger role in trying to get this to change though, given that they should respect his decision after all this time. Have you asked him to speak to them? If the two of you can sit down with his family and simply ask them why they can't accept your relationship, it may allow you to arrive at a position of clarity. If they are clear about not wanting to accept you, they are rejecting your boyfriend's decision. If this happens, you should ask yourself if it's worth wanting to feel part of a family that doesn't give you the respect and affection you deserve.

I have a crush on a close friend but am afraid of telling her this because I may lose her friendship. What should I do?
If she's a close friend, you should be able to share your fears. She may not share your feelings, but there is no reason why the friendship should end if you both treat this with maturity and honesty.

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