How can I help a devastated friend?

Published: Jun 04, 2019, 07:22 IST | Dr Love

He doesn't interact with anyone, rarely speaks to me or any of his other friends, and doesn't even respond to messages on WhatsApp when we try and ask him to come out with us.

How can I help a devastated friend?

A good friend of mine recently ended a relationship after 6 years and it has devastated him completely. He doesn't interact with anyone, rarely speaks to me or any of his other friends, and doesn't even respond to messages on WhatsApp when we try and ask him to come out with us. It's as if he has cut off all feelings for everyone, including some of his childhood friends. We are all worried about him, because we know this is difficult for him to deal with. Any attempt to help him is being ignored, so we are not sure what we can do to help him through this difficult time. How do I help him?
Your concern for him is probably all he needs at this point, because it's obvious that he is looking for time and space to grieve and allow himself to put this relationship behind him. He has no reason to cut off his friends, which means the chances of him reaching out when he is ready are high. If he needs space, going out with friends won't help because it's clearly something that makes him uncomfortable. I suggest you tell him that you and your friends are there whenever he needs a shoulder to cry on, and allow him to deal with this in his own way.

I joined a new company a month ago and have begun to feel strongly attracted to my boss. I know this is a bad idea and I have no intention of acting on it. Is there anything I can do to get over this infatuation quickly?
Your awareness that it is just infatuation and willingness to do nothing about it are sensible enough. Being attracted to someone new is normal and natural. As long as you recognise your boundaries, there's nothing to be worried about. You are an adult, and will find a way to get around this. There is no magical solution.

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