'How can I try to understand her better?'

Updated: 10 February, 2018 10:19 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Illustration/Ravi Jadhav
Illustration/Ravi Jadhav

I want to try and understand my girlfriend a little better, because I think it will make our relationship a lot stronger. How can I do this?
You have the right idea, but I'm not sure why this is difficult when understanding comes simply from being honest and open to another person's point of view. If you can talk to her about anything, and encourage her to do the same, you're on your way to understanding each other better almost
at once.

My wife has a habit of saying really horrible things about my family whenever we fight. She is always very sweet to them when we all meet together, but insults them regularly whenever we have an argument. This two-faced nature of hers really stresses me out, because it makes me feel as if she is lying about everything. I have asked her not to say such things, and she says she doesn't really mean them after we make up, but I don't know why the same nasty comments crop up the next time we end up having a fight. I have now threatened to leave her if she says another word about them again. Am I the one doing the wrong thing? Isn't she to be blamed for ruining things to such an extent?
There is obviously more to this than meets the eye. If she continues to say things about them only during a fight, it's probably because she is looking for what will hurt you the most and has found it. If she has unresolved issues related to your family members, the sooner the two of you resolve them, the better it will be for your future together. Threatening to leave her doesn't seem like a sensible approach, because this is something that can be easily fixed with a little love and understanding. You could also simply ignore the things she says during a fight, because she will then lose her power to use them against you when she's angry.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

Catch up on all the latest Mumbai news, current affairs from Mumbai, local news, crime news and breaking headlines here

Download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get updates on all the latest and trending stories on the go

Trending Video

First Published: 10 February, 2018 06:00 IST


dr love

Sign up for all the latest news, top galleries and trending videos from Mid-day.com

loading image
This website uses cookie or similar technologies, to enhance your browsing experience and provide personalised recommendations. By continuing to use our website, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. OK