'How can one know that one has reached orgasm?'

May 21, 2014, 15:03 IST | Dr Prakash Kothari and Rachna Kothari

Clinical sexologist Dr Prakash Kothari and Counseling Psychologist Rachna Kothari answer your sex-related queries

Q. I am 16 and just entered college. I know pretty much nothing about sex etc. How can one know that one has reached orgasm?
A. Orgasm is like a sneezeā€”it is difficult to describe but once you have had one, you know what it feels like. Usually, one experiences a heightened sexual ecstasy accompanied by rhythmic vaginal contractions (sometimes) in females and ejaculation in males, followed by a feeling of relaxation.

When one reaches orgasm, one usually has gasping uncontrolled movements, or a sense of suspension, which is non-verbal, signs expressing that one has had an orgasm. Later, after completion of the sex act, one appears calm and satisfied. The signs of having had an orgasm are quite fleeting. The best way is to ask the partner.

Q. What is the normal duration of intercourse? And how often should a couple indulge in intercourse?
A. There is no 'normal standard time' for intercourse. It depends upon the partners. Intercourse may be continued till it is mutually satisfying. Prolonged intercourse does not necessarily give more pleasure. This is a myth. What is important is not how long, but how satisfying. Since the aim of sexual intercourse is pleasure, a couple can have intercourse as often as it pleases them. It is a pleasure to be shared between the two partners and there is no need to keep a tally. 'Frequent' or 'normal' depends upon the individual couple. The best thing to do is to forget the number game and engage in sex as often as it is mutually pleasurable and satisfying. Quality, not quantity, counts here.

Q. Can I take Dapoxetine every alternate day? And can I continue that for lifetime?
A. Yes you can. In fact the dose is 1 tablet 1 hour before the act with a glass of water maximum once in 24 hours. Yes, you can continue SOS for lifetime.

You can ask your most intimate questions to Dr Prakash Kothari. Send an email to sexologist@mid-day.com. India’s top sexologist will answer them right here.

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