How do I confront her about reading her diary?

Updated: Nov 24, 2017, 09:19 IST | Dr Love

A week ago, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's diary when I was in her room. I know I shouldn't have opened it, but  I did anyway because I was curious

Dr. Love

Dr. LoveA week ago, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's diary when I was in her room. I know I shouldn't have opened it, but  I did anyway because I was curious. What I saw inside was a lot of stuff she had written about me. She said some nasty things about how I behave, criticised a lot of stuff I have done, and I got the impression that she disliked a lot of my decisions. This was a surprise, because she had never said anything to me openly, and had always acted as if I could do no wrong. I want to confront her about what she wrote, but am afraid she may attack me for invading her privacy. At the same time, if I don't confront her, I will continue to see everything she does as an act. What should I do?

You're right about the fact that you intruded upon her personal space. She is free to write about anything she likes, including you, because that's what a personal diary is for. I don't see how you can fault her for thinking about something, behaving in a particular way, and writing about something because, in all honesty, it's what every single one of us does. You can't possibly say that you tell people exactly what you feel about them, nor can you fault someone for being supportive even if they think that what you're doing is wrong. If you must judge your girlfriend, shouldn't you do it for her actions rather than her thoughts? She supports you, which is all that ought to matter. We dislike things about a lot of people in our lives, but behave in a radically different way towards them because that's what mature relationships are about - disagreeing with people, but defending their right to have a different point of view nonetheless. I suggest you put this behind you, allow her some space, and think of what she's written as fiction if it helps you sleep better at night.

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