How do I convince my parents I want to marry him?

Updated: Dec 14, 2017, 11:28 IST | Dr Love

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How can I convince my parents that my boyfriend is the one I intend to marry? They think it's just a fling, but it isn't.

I don't get it. They're your parents. Why can't they tell when you're being serious and when you aren't? If you feel about this as strongly as you do, why can't they accept what it is you have to say? You're not being convincing enough. Try harder.

I am 35 and have been dating a 29-year-old woman for four years now. We got together because we had a lot in common; neither of us wanted to settle down, and we both agreed to focus on our careers and travel. As I get older though, I feel the need for more security. I don't know if marriage is the answer, but I think settling down with someone formally would ease my mind about a lot of things, from financial security to the idea of purchasing a house together. I don't want to mention this to her until I'm sure though, because it may rub her the wrong way and she may start to have doubts about wanting to be with me. I can't talk to my friends about it because they are all married and will simply ask me to marry too. Should I speak to a relationship counsellor?

It's perfectly okay for people to change their goals or how they see a relationship evolve. It's what being human is all about, isn't it? If you feel as if things need to change, why shouldn't you say this to the person you value? If you can't discuss how you really feel, what's the point of being in a relationship? Will you change the way you feel a few years from now? Probably not; you may come to feel more strongly about this a few years from now, so, the sooner you get some clarity, the better it will be for the two of you as well as your future together.


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