How do I get my wife back?

Updated: Jul 10, 2020, 04:16 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

She left my home 3 times without informing me, and eventually left for good

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picMy wife and I had an arranged marriage. We were in love but, after the marriage, she became depressed because her brother was ailing, and her mother lived far away. Her brother is unmarried and handicapped, and she lost her father three years ago. She also had a hard time getting along with my own mother and sister. She left my home 3 times without informing me, and eventually left for good. I visited her home several times and stayed with her too, assuring her family that their needs could be taken care of. It has been six months now, and she has shut me out completely. She is not responding to calls or allowing me to visit her home. She still speaks to my elder cousin brother, which shows she has not given up on our relationship entirely. I message her on WhatsApp daily. It has been a year since she left, and I am confused about this marriage. According to the law, it doesn't even exist because she stayed for just 79 days and we haven't met or spoken in over 6 months. She had no complaints with us but is depressed and I am really am worried about her because I still love her. What should I do?— Manish P

I can't comment on the legal aspects of your marriage, but it does seem as if you will have to take a call on how long you are prepared to live in this state of limbo. It's great that you are supportive of your wife and recognise that she needs help, but this involves efforts from her too. She needs to acknowledge her depression, think about what she wants for her own future, and be prepared to seek the help she clearly needs if she wants this to work. None of this can happen until she opens up lines of communication again. If she doesn't speak to you, consider speaking to her mother. At some point, one of you has to arrive at a decision.

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