How do I tell her to dress nicely?

Updated: 11 August, 2020 07:48 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Have you spoken to your sister about this? If you are honest about why you feel the way you do, she can always try speaking to him and the three of you can then arrive at a compromise that works for everyone.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy girlfriend and I have been together for over six months now. We have known each other for a year or so and the only thing that bothers me is how she dresses. I am not commenting on whether she wears anything inappropriate or not, because that is her decision entirely. I just sometimes feel as if she doesn't put in much of an effort. When we have a date at a fancy restaurant, for instance, she doesn't even wear something pretty even though I know she has options. How do I get her to see things from my point of view?
On the one hand, you claim that you don't comment on whether her choice of clothing is appropriate or not. On the other, you do exactly what you say you aren't doing. If you don't have a problem with what she wears, that should also apply to allowing her to choose what to wear to a fancy restaurant. Her choice is dictated more by what she feels comfortable in than what she wears to make you feel. If you want to interpret this as a reflection on you, that is your call, but you should give her the benefit of doubt and accept her decisions that have been made as an adult. You can tell her why you feel as if she doesn't try to look better, obviously, but what she does with that is entirely her prerogative. Focus on why you choose to be with someone, rather than why you want that person to change.

How do I cope with my passive-aggressive brother-in-law? He always makes things difficult for me when I visit my sister's family and I am worried that it will end up affecting our relationship.
Have you spoken to your sister about this? If you are honest about why you feel the way you do, she can always try speaking to him and the three of you can then arrive at a compromise that works for everyone.

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First Published: 11 August, 2020 06:05 IST

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