'How do I win back girlfriend's trust?'

Updated: Oct 07, 2019, 08:40 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

We were friends earlier, when she used to live in another city, but she is now living with me and we have been in a relationship for around three months

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been with this girl for a year now. We were friends earlier, when she used to live in another city, but she is now living with me and we have been in a relationship for around three months. She loves, respects and supports me, but I did something wrong before we began a relationship. I have been loyal to her since we got together, but she doesn't believe or trust me the way she used to before. We want to marry at some point, but she has some concerns. I was wrong, of course, but I have been loyal to her. How do I make her believe this? I can't even imagine my life without her.
— Aman G
If you weren't in a relationship when you were disloyal, by which I assume you mean you were with someone else, you have to be honest with her about why you did what you did. It is natural for her to feel the way she does, but you have to point out that the two of you weren't in a relationship at the time. Trust isn't built overnight, and the two of you have only been together for three months. Give it time, keep lines of communication open, allow her to ask you questions, and be honest about your past as well as how you feel about her and your future together. Things will improve with time.

My boyfriend is surprisingly close to one of his colleagues, which sometimes bothers me. He openly flirts with her and dismisses my concerns by saying I am being childish. How do I get him to accept that his actions genuinely bother me?
Point out to him that your relationship is based on mutual respect, and that his flirting with another woman is disrespectful to her as well as yourself, if it bothers you. If he is a rational adult, he shouldn't have a problem understanding or accepting that message.

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