How do we get our sex life back on track?

Published: Jan 13, 2020, 06:22 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

My question is, do you think it's a bad choice to be friends with someone who has feelings for you

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am 63 years old and my wife is 59. We had a wonderful sex life for 35 years but now, despite our mutual attraction for each other, we are unable to perform the way we would like to. Kindly recommend something so our sex life is back to being enjoyable, the way it used to be.— PV

The continued presence of an attraction between the two of you is a great thing, because that is usually the hardest to hold on to. Spicing things up in the bedroom is easier when you have had a long and satisfying relationship, so that's another positive aspect to consider too. I suggest the two of you speak to a professional though, because I assume you are open and honest enough to have discussed this among yourselves already. Get a third opinion from a therapist and see if that helps. Don't give up hope just yet.

I am a girl who has always had mostly guy friends around me. Over the years, I have seen, time and again, that they confuse my friendship with love. I manage to be very honest with them and have retained these relationships. My question is, do you think it's a bad choice to be friends with someone who has feelings for you? It's always their choice of course, and I have always respected it. I am starting to feel as if their friendship only came with a motive though, and I am starting to lose friends. What do I do?— Trisha A

Why is it a bad choice if it is mutual? You have been honest, and your friends have chosen to accept you as a friend by respecting your feelings. If they have motives, and choose to abandon their relationships with you, that is a good thing because it enables you to recognise who your true friends really are. I wouldn't worry about this at all because, at some point, you will all move on with your lives. You don't have to do anything.

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