How these Hollywood stars can start 2015 on a clean slate
Here's what we think some Hollywood celebrities are better off without in the new year
The year 2014 is now a matter of the past. And while we may forgive our friends for their mistakes and move on this new year, Hollywood celebrities don't really come under that scanner. Thanks to the overwhelming presence of the Internet and by extension social media, we shall always remember the faux pas they have committed. Irrespective of whether their film was a hit or not, rumours and gossip ceaselessly revolve around the lives of these celebrities. After all, that's what being in the spotlight is all about. hitlist would like to take the opportunity to 'advise' Hollywood celebs without being nasty on what to and what not to do this year.
ProTip: There are several reasons — utter candidness being one of them — why you are the undisputed American Sweetheart. This also makes it difficult to crack a joke or two at your expense. Anyway, make sure you don’t trip on the red carpet during the award season this year at least.
ProTip: We get it that you are an impulsive artist who does what her heart commands. But still, your thought about quitting acting completely — after helming just two films — in favour of direction comes across as a haphazard plan. To put it mildly, we love you too much.
ProTip: Maybe, just maybe, Christian Bale was right when he blasted you for nitpicking newspapers. “Stop whining” his words, not ours. If you can use the media to divert attention towards Darfur, then the media’s boisterous reaction to your wedding is a fair deal, isn’t it?
ProTip: Did you know the only thing that’s stopping you from bagging that coveted Oscar? Your refusal to tie the knot. Just check out the list of actors who’ve won the Best Actor gong. It’s an unwritten norm among them to be married — at least once. Kindly settle down, Leo.
ProTip: Do whatever it is that you were planning — or not planning — to do. If a filmmaker can play with concepts like space and time as cinematically as you managed to do last year, then we don’t think there’s anything that could stop you from extending your legend. Carry on, sir.
ProTip: Is there any chance of you going wrong with scripts? Better still, is there anything you can do wrong when you are not in front of the camera? No gossip, nothing. You are on a roll, man! Also, a good enough reason to sign up for more awesome TV ads a la Lincoln commercials.
ProTip: There was a time when your academic interests made everyone gasp but that was before you got yourself into this super-superbusy mode. Your propensity towards doing everything — acting, directing, producing, writing, etc — has become a matter of joke, not quality.
ProTip: Okay, we understand, Shia. It must be tough to be so damn famous that you found it necessary to remind the world that you aren’t famous anymore. And this was off the screen. We can only wonder what you must have done on the sets of Fury to p*** off Brad Pitt.
ProTip: A year went by without a single film release from you. Isn’t that odd? Oh yes, you marked your directorial debut at Cannes although with as little aplomb as possible, but it’s not releasing. Your next acting assignment is for an untitled project. Hey
Dad, what’s going on?
ProTip: We read that your original plan was to become a singer, but that didn’t happen. Regardless, that’s no excuse to get on the stage at an award function and try to sound like a singer. No, wait — you were drunk that night! Something Jack Sparrow would be proud of.