How to

May 20, 2012, 08:18 IST | Sandhya Mridul

I am 22 years-old and have been in a relationship with a 28 year-old guy since the past three and a half years

Hi Sandhya,
I am 22 years-old and have been in a relationship with a 28 year-old guy since the past three and a half years. We are going through a rocky patch because his family wants him to get married immediately. He says he wouldn’t have minded waiting for a couple of years, because he does understand that I am too young and want to figure out my career. But his family is not very cooperative and the pressure is getting to him. He has now asked me to consider an early marriage.

I really love him, and understand his position, but the idea of marriage at this point in my life is an intimidating option. My career, future study plans — heck, even figuring myself out on a personal level — all go for a toss the moment I see myself married in a couple of months. What should I do?
Miss X

Dear Miss X,
Okay right this is not an easy one..but the one thing I do know from experience is that if one is not then one us just not ready! And if you’re not ready or convinced about marriage whatever age that may be you must not do it. Marriage is a huge responsibility and in this country you do not just marry the man, you marry the family! So one must be prepared for such a big commitment because that’s what it is. And I personally feel that 22 is too young to do this especially if you have things you want to achieve, dreams to fulfil and plans for yourself. Most important, of course, is figuring out yourself on a personal level. That is vital.

You don’t sound at all interested in doing this, so just tell your boyfriend that if he loves you he must wait. Also, he must marry you because he wants to and he can’t wait, not because his parents want him to and won’t wait!  Today his parents demand that he marry you and thats what he expects you to do. Tomorrow, they may demand that you don’t work. Then what will he stand by you? Respect the equation between the two of you or insist on fulfiling his parents demands.
Think this through. You don’t need to do this unless you want to.
Love,  Sandhya 

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