How to

Jun 10, 2012, 07:18 IST | Sandhya Mridul

I am 28 years-old and have been with my live-in partner since three years.

Dear Sandhya,
I am 28 years-old and have been with my live-in partner since three years. I am glad that back then, we decided to live in instead of jumping into marriage because it has given me some perspective about the realities in romance. We are used to each other, are comfortable in the relationship and share a great deal. But recently, I bumped into a friend with whom I had lost touch five years ago. We had feelings for each other but never really got into a relationship. Now, we often catch up, have a lot in common and share a close relationship. There’s flirtation involved, too. I sometimes wonder whether I should give this ‘friendship’ a better chance. Or is just the comfort and stability of my live-in relationship that’s driving me toward recklessness?

My dear B,
If the comfort and stability in your relationship is driving you towards recklessness then there lies your answer. You are not really ready for a relationship. Because the things that people look for in a relationship is what is driving you away from it, I fear.
Before giving any other friendship a chance, give yourself a chance to clear your head. I suggest you stay with yourself for a while and see how it goes and what direction you flow in. If you break the monotony of your relationship you might get some clarity. Besides some space in relationships is imperative. Always good to come up for some air — breathe, think fresh and you might just see why you’ve been content and comfortable in your existing relationship. Space does that! Till then chill & flow it’s not that big an issue really..
Love, S 

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