Husband changed after kid was born

Updated: Apr 14, 2020, 07:46 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Speak to family and friends, because their experiences may help you understand this better. If your husband is open to the suggestion, the two of you should also consider speaking to a therapist about why you are both struggling to connect

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been having problems with my husband for the past couple of months, ever since we had a child. Things were fine between us before the baby was born, and we dated for a few years before marriage, so we have known each other for a long time. We wanted this child together, so I don't know why things have changed between us. He is more distant and doesn't react with the kind of affection he used to. I have tried having a conversation with him about this, and he acknowledges that things have changed, but doesn't really want to fix this. I am worried that our child will have to bear the brunt of this.
The appearance of a child can have a radical impact on any couple, so I don't think you should treat this as unnatural. It's hard to reconcile what it means to want a child, with actually having to bear the responsibility of one. Your husband is obviously struggling with this dramatic change and needs some space to get used to the idea. If the two of you have known each other for a while, it helps because you may be in a better position to judge how much time he needs to adjust to this. For now, I suggest you allow him to communicate with you on his terms, without pushing him to try and be the person he was before your child was born. Speak to family and friends, because their experiences may help you understand this better. If your husband is open to the suggestion, the two of you should also consider speaking to a therapist about why you are both struggling to connect.

My fiancé recently got into an accident and lost a lot of weight in hospital. He feels very insecure since then. How can I boost his confidence?
Treating him exactly the same will help. Time eventually heals all wounds.

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