I am 24 and feel desperately lonely

Published: Oct 17, 2019, 05:11 IST | DR Love |

I haven't been in a relationship for over four years, which is because I don't meet new people and don't know how to meet someone interesting

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am a 24-year old guy and have been lonely for a long time. This has started to affect my mental health lately, because I notice that I am sad all the time. I used to have a few close friends, but they have moved to other cities for work or studies. I haven't been in a relationship for over four years, which is because I don't meet new people and don't know how to meet someone interesting. What can I do to break out of this cycle of loneliness and lead a normal life? I am tired of living like this.

Accepting that there is a problem is the first step, and you have taken it. Meeting new people is never easy, but it helps to try and understand what kind of people you would like to meet, because that can help you come up with a plan on where to find them. If you want to find people who read a lot, for instance, hanging around bookstores or looking for a book club in your neighbourhood makes sense. Try using apps to find people around you, look at social media platforms that advertise local clubs or activity groups. I suggest you reach out to old friends and ask them to introduce you to people. Having said that, loneliness can be difficult to deal with and can have a serious impact on your mental and physical health. If you find it hard to cope, don't be afraid to reach out to a professional or seek help from a counsellor.

My boyfriend isn't ready to go out of town on a holiday with me. I don't know why this is a problem, but he says he needs more time because of work commitments. Am I overreacting about this?

If he genuinely needs time, what stops the two of you from picking a date in the future? It's not as if he is refusing to go on holiday forever. Have a chat like two adults and sort it out.

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