I am 31 and have never dated!

Updated: Oct 25, 2019, 05:35 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I want to date a few women before settling down, but it's starting to feel as if I am running out of time

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am a 31-year old guy and haven't been in a relationship. At first, I avoided it because I was concentrating on my education and career, but now I find it hard to even speak to women and it makes me feel like a failure. I want to date a few women before settling down, but it's starting to feel as if I am running out of time. I have been depressed about this for a few months and the more I think about it, the harder it is for me to actually do something about it. Please help.

The only person who can help you with this is yourself, because you're aware enough to recognise what the problem is. I suggest you speak to a therapist for your depression, because it is what stands in the way of you putting yourself out there. I can't comment on whether you have enough time to date a number of people before settling down, but I will say that there is no rule about when you ought to marry or how many women you need to date before you make up your mind. It's your life, and how you feel about dating or marriage will depend entirely upon the kind of person you meet. The first step is to start meeting people. Try using an app or ask friends to introduce you to someone. You have to start somewhere.

My girlfriend comes from a modest background and isn't very worldly, which gets to be embarrassing sometimes. She says and does things that make me ashamed and I don't know how to get her to stop. What can I do?

If you love someone, you have to love them unconditionally for a relationship to evolve. If you are ashamed of your girlfriend, why are you with her? If you think she needs to learn something, why can't you teach her? This reflects rather badly on you, rather than her. Try and think about what exactly she does that makes you ashamed.

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