I am addicted to watching porn

Published: Oct 26, 2019, 05:16 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I don't know if there is something wrong with me because I feel as if I should stop watching porn

Illustration/ Udy Mohite
Illustration/ Udy Mohite

Dr LoveI have been married for almost a decade and have recently begun spending more time watching pornography online. At first, I felt guilty about this, but I now do it daily without any guilt. I don't know if there is something wrong with me because I feel as if I should stop doing this. Should I tell my wife about it? I don't want it to affect our lives in any way but am afraid it might if I don't stop it soon. What should I do?

If you think this will affect your marital life, it probably will, because an addiction to pornography does cause significant changes in how we interact with people. At the very least, it might affect your sex life, so I suggest you try and speak to your wife about this. Given how long you have been married, you should have trust and strong lines of communication with each other, so I think she deserves to know. The two of you need to understand why this is happening. Guilt or a lack of isn't the problem; it's why you feel the need to look at pornography daily.

I have been dating a girl for six months now, and there is no real problem except for what sometimes feels like a lack of passion. We like each other's company and usually have a good time together, but I don't feel a lot of joy from her. I would like her to be happier when she sees me. How do I bring about this change?

If she wasn't happy with you, would she continue being in this relationship? The two of you are still at a stage where you are getting to know each other better. Your pleasure in each other's company will only intensify when you understand each other better and learn what gives each of you pleasure. If there isn't a real problem at the moment, I suggest you simply spend as much time with your girlfriend as you can and be patient.

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