'I am always the one saying sorry'

Updated: Mar 15, 2019, 08:13 IST | Dr Love

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'I am always the one saying sorry'

Dr LoveMy boyfriend and I argue all the time, for all kinds of reasons. I understand that this is normal, because couples don't always see eye to eye on things, but what bothers me is how I am always the one who makes up. I have to be the bigger person every single time because, if I'm not, he won't bother trying to fix this for days. I am tired of always being the person who has to apologise and move on. How do I get him to change his behaviour?
You're right about arguments being normal, because people in relationships take a while to understand each other. You're also right about it not being fair that you have to be the bigger person, because there has to be a sharing of responsibility when it comes to resolving any disagreement. If your boyfriend doesn't apologize, this is a problem because it implies a lack of respect. You are doing the right thing by moving on and not being childish, but there is only so much one person can do when it comes to managing a relationship. Your boyfriend needs to understand that you can't always be the one pulling the weight for two people. If he doesn't get the message, I suggest you brace yourself for not apologising the next time, irrespective of how long it takes. This may sound like a childish thing to do, and it is, but it's obvious that he isn't getting the message. If he doesn't apologise over a significant period of time, it's a sign that he doesn't value your presence as much as he ought to.

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