'I am an 18-year-old girl, who is sexually attracted to other girls'

Mar 25, 2014, 13:00 IST | Dr Prakash Kothari and Rachna Kothari

Clinical sexologist Dr Prakash Kothari and Counseling Psychologist Rachna Kothari answer your sex-related queries

Q. I am 18-year-old girl. I enjoy the company of girls only. I even get sexually attracted to girls. Am I a lesbian? Am I abnormal?
— Curious
A. Whether you have same sex attraction tendency or not, I would evaluate by asking following questions-
During masturbation, do you fantasize about the same sex, opposite sex?
In sexual dreams, do you dream of the same sex partner, opposite sex partner?
What arouses you the most? Same sex or opposite sex?
Have you had and “enjoyed” a sexual encounter? With same sex or opposite sex?
If in all the above, if your answer is same sex, then chances are that you are essentially drawn towards the same sex and it can be termed as a lesbian. However, you are not abnormal. This is your preference. What you need to know is that “If a lesbian is satisfying her relationship in a positive way, she is better off than not satisfying it at all or being a destructive heterosexual”.

Q. I am only 35. But I exhibit signs of 55! Every time I have sex with my wife, I am breathless and panting. What can I do to satisfy my wife?
— Frustrated
A. Firstly to begin with, change the sexual position for instant relief -instead of male superior position, adopt female superior position. In this position, you’re completely relaxed and there’s no exertion on your part as the movements are being done by your partner. This will make you comfortable from the very first encounter. Meanwhile, you need to find out the cause of your breathlessness. Sometimes, simple blood examination can reveal anaemia or increase in eosonophilis, which could be responsible for your breathlessness. This could be effectively treated with suitable medication in less than a month’s time. If you’re a smoker, please stop. Doing Pranayama properly (anulom-vilom) or other breathing exercises in a well-ventilated room, can help increase the vital capacity of lungs.

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