I am getting cold feet about the wedding...

Updated: Apr 25, 2020, 04:54 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He is very sure, and thinks we will be fine, but I am probably overthinking this and it is making me nervous

illustration/ Uday Mohite
illustration/ Uday Mohite

I am supposed to get married later this year and I have started to have cold feet. My fiancé and I have been together for around 3 years now, and we love each other, but I just don't know if I am ready for such a big step. He is very sure, and thinks we will be fine, but I am probably overthinking this and it is making me nervous. I am considering postponing the whole thing but am afraid of how he will react. I am very confused and don't know what to do. Please help.

What you are going through is incredibly normal, so I don't think you are overthinking this at all. Your partner is ready, but you aren't, which is also fine. The thing to remember is that this is a big step that affects you both, and you will both react to it differently. Anything that is so life-changing will always involve second thoughts or second guessing. Focus on what is important though, and how you arrived at this stage in your relationship. If you are afraid, be honest about your fears and allow your fiancé to tell you why he doesn't share them. There may never come a time when you are as prepared as he is, but what you should keep in mind is the big picture. Think about why you are with him, whether you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and if you trust him enough to be the kind of partner you expect. This is something you should both work on together. There will be other decisions, and struggles, and disagreements, but talking about them all and working on them together will help you both deal with everything a lot easier. If you want to postpone this, you can and should, but give him the benefit of doubt and discuss it for a while first. If you feel uncomfortable, or are under pressure, you can always take some time out and think about this.

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