I am miserable in this relationship...

Published: Feb 13, 2020, 05:18 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

My boyfriend says he is comfortable with the way things are, but I think I want more from this

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI am in a fairly miserable relationship. We have been together for three months, but there doesn't seem to be any romance. We meet because it feels like we should, and have sex because it feels like the normal thing to do. There is no desire, or any wish to spend more time chatting with each other. My boyfriend says he is comfortable with the way things are, but I think I want more from this. Am I being too demanding?

You're not being demanding at all, because what you want out of this relationship seems perfectly reasonable. It's obvious that your boyfriend doesn't share that sentiment, which is also normal in a relationship that is still fairly new. I suggest you give yourself some time to get more comfortable with this and allow a sense of familiarity to change how the two of you evolve together. If nothing changes in a few months, it may be time to get him to accept that your desires are not being met.

My husband and I have been married for a year, and I am beginning to regret this decision for a number of reasons. We married in haste, after just a few months of dating, because our families exerted a lot of pressure. He isn't the person I thought he was. He doesn't take his career seriously, barely contributes to household expenses, and doesn't come to family functions if he is meeting his friends. How do I make this work?

I assume you have had a conversation with him about this. If it has made no impact, and he has no interest in changing, you should find out if he wants to make this marriage work. You cannot carry all the weight yourself, because successful relationships in any form are about partnerships. Give this marriage some time and, if nothing changes speak to family or friends.

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