I am no more the person I used to be

Updated: Jun 01, 2019, 07:38 IST | Dr Love

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I am no more the person I used to be

Dr LoveI ended a relationship after three years and have not felt like myself since. I know I should give myself time to get over this, because we were very serious about each other, but I don't know if I will ever be able to date again. We ended it because we were not in love for a long time, and it didn't make sense to continue, so it's not as if I miss my ex-boyfriend. I don't know what I can do to get back to being the person I was before it all began.
There are a couple of things you need to accept. First, you will never be the person you were before this, because being with someone always changes us in some way. Change is constant even if we aren't in a relationship, so trying to be the person you once were is an unreasonable hope. Second, you are probably being too hard on yourself. Getting over a long-term relationship is difficult even if you don't miss your ex-boyfriend. No one is forcing you to start dating again, and it shouldn't be your priority until you manage to put this behind you. I suggest you focus on things you like doing, with family and friends, and give yourself time to process this event. When you are ready to date again, you will know it. So hang in there and enjoy your freedom while you can.

I feel invisible around my friends. They don't ask for my opinion, don't care if I am around or not, and this affects my self-confidence. What can I do to change how they look at me?
You can choose to participate more, if you want to, or ask yourself if their opinion matters enough to define your idea of self. Friends are supposed to boost one's self-confidence, not tear it down, so I would also take a long, hard look at who these people are and why you give them the importance you do.

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