I am not sure she is serious about us

Updated: Aug 28, 2019, 05:19 IST | DR Love |

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Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

IDr Love am a 32-year old guy and have been dating a 24-year old girl from my office for four months. I am very serious about her, but don’t know if she feels as strongly about me. I want to ask her to marry me, but am afraid because she may reject the idea and that will complicate things at the office. I sometimes get the feeling she is with me just because she wants a fling. If I ask her serious questions about her family or future, for instance, she simply laughs them off. I’m confused because I really do believe she is special and that she and I can have a happy life. What should I do?

Office romances are always tricky, but this sounds complicated only because you seem to be at a different stage of the relationship than your girlfriend is. To assume she wants a fling is disrespectful and counterproductive, especially if you also believe she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Much of what you believe is based on your reading of the situation rather than fact. If she doesn’t talk about her family or her future, it could be simply because not everyone is comfortable talking about things after four months. You want to marry her after four months of dating. Why not wait until the two of you get to know each other better, and then evaluate how you both feel about this? To jump to conclusions at this stage doesn’t do either of you any favours.

My best friend is getting married and I am not sure she is making the right choice. Should I tell her how I feel even at the risk of ruining our friendship?

Why will being honest ruin your friendship? Don’t you owe it to her, and to what the two of you share, to be able to air your views? Why shy away from it? Whether she chooses to accept or disregard your opinion is her prerogative.

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