'I am obsessed with my boyfriend'

Updated: 28 September, 2020 07:29 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I am obsessed with him and don't feel like doing anything when I'm not chatting with him. I feel depressed, like there is nothing in my life, but he still doesn't care.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

My boyfriend is my best friend, but I feel lonely because he is always so busy and doesn't make time for me. We used to spend a lot of time in the past but, after I left a company, he began to get busier. I am obsessed with him and don't feel like doing anything when I'm not chatting with him. I feel depressed, like there is nothing in my life, but he still doesn't care. I work from home and live with my family but keep checking WhatsApp to see when he was last online. He stays up until 3 am but doesn't take a few minutes off for me, which really hurts. I see him online on Facebook and Instagram, but he doesn't chat. We have agreed to not marry, but I love him so much. I have never forced him to do anything other than chat. What I should do? I have spent many nights in depression, crying without him.
— Annu S
This is worrying for a number of reasons, because it seems as if you have placed this person on a pedestal. It's okay to love someone and miss them all the time but admitting to an obsession also indicates that there is a part of you that isn't comfortable with how this relationship has evolved over time. If the two of you don't intend to take this to the next level, it's also obvious that there is an expiry date to what you have. What happens when it ends? Also, have you considered that him knowing about your dependence on him may make it harder for him to chat with you? Everyone likes time and space in a relationship. I'm not saying that what he is doing is right, but I wonder if you have ever thought about yourself and the other people in your life too. If you feel as if your life is empty without this person's presence, why not focus on other things that can or may make you happy?

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First Published: 28 September, 2020 04:04 IST

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