'I am torn between child and boyfriend...'

Apr 02, 2014, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

I'm 34 and lost my husband last year to cancer. I have a five-year-old daughter

Dear Diana,
I'm 34 and lost my husband last year to cancer. I have a five-year-old daughter. I had a boyfriend earlier, but we drifted apart and later I got married. We were not in touch all these years. My ex suddenly reappeared in my life and is keen on marrying me. I am confused. I don't want my child to think that I'm thinking of my happiness more than hers.
— Amyra


Dear Amyra,
Your child is only five years old so she is too young to understand the situation. You may have your share of apprehensions and that is justified as you have been through a lot. But this guy is someone you knew and liked. May be you were destined to be together, and now after all these years he is back. Weigh all the options and give marriage a second shot. What is happened is over, you can start life anew.

Dear Diana,
I'm 42-year-old and my wife has left me after nine years of marriage. We were childless and it wasn't really the best of relationships either. Though we never fought with each other, a simmering underlying tension of not being right for each other existed. I'm not really surprised that we aren't together anymore. The only thing that troubles me is that she has found love in one of my friends and that thought is very unsettling for me. I can't understand how she and my buddy can do this?
— Gautam

Dear Gautam,
It is obvious that your buddy and wife hooked up behind your back. You may find it unsettling, but you have to accept the reality and move on. You were not happy in the relationship, so why moan about it now? What is affecting you is that she is with your pal and you had no clue about their affair — you never got along with her while he did — so let them lead their lives while you get on with your life.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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