'I barely go out and meet new people'

Published: Jun 12, 2019, 08:27 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

My boyfriend would simply come over, drink alcohol for hours, order food from a restaurant nearby and then pass out.

Dr Love
Dr Love

I finally ended a relationship after two years because we stopped having sex over a year ago. My boyfriend would simply come over, drink alcohol for hours, order food from a restaurant nearby and then pass out. He did this for months until I began doing it too. We barely spoke about anything and simply watched Netflix. The problem is, since we broke up, I haven't changed my habits in any way. Now, I drink alone, order food and watch television for hours. I don't go out and meet people and have lost interest in dating. I am worried that I may simply get back with him because I don't have any options and because it's now comfortable to be just like him. I don't want to settle for that though. How do I break this spell and move on? I know it's not a healthy approach.
There is a lot of self-awareness that should help you. You recognise that this isn't healthy, and don't want to settle for a relationship that failed simply because you are not interested in dating at the moment. I suggest you ignore the idea of dating and focus on your health instead. Don't meet new people if you don't want to but start by doing something to help you feel better physically. Eat better, stop drinking alone and consider something energetic. You may be pleasantly surprised to see the difference it makes to your mental well-being. You may also be surprised to find that meeting new people isn't too hard, and you may meet someone interesting. Start small, one step at a time, and put yourself first. You owe yourself some happiness.

Can I be in love with two people at the same time? I can't seem to make up my mind and it's driving me crazy.
Try and evaluate your feelings with a bit more clarity. Is this an infatuation, just feelings of tenderness, or genuinely love?

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