'I can't get her out of my head...'

Jul 03, 2015, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

I am a 45-year-old businessman. I am married and have three kids. Over a decade ago, I had a fling with my office secretary...

Dear Diana,
I am a 45-year-old businessman. I am married and have three kids. Over a decade ago, I had a fling with my office secretary. I was attracted to her. She liked me too. For about six months we were together. She then quit her job and got married. I am not in contact with her. My problem is that even after all these years, I can’t get over her. I still think about her and miss her. There are many times I feel like calling her or sending her a text message. I wish I could see her one more time. The moments spent with her were magical. I never felt this way for anyone, not even my wife. As I was married, I knew there was no future, so one day we just stopped talking to each other. All these years, she has not got in touch with me. Should I just let her be my past? Do you think she remembers me? I now realise that this is what is called true love. My feelings for her have not diminished even though I have not seen her for a decade.
— Shyam


Dear Shyam,
You were indulging in an extramarital affair, better sense prevailed and you decided to walk away. Let her remain in your past. There is no point trying to get in touch with her as she has also moved on. You two were attracted to each other and got carried away. It was good till it lasted. Rekindling the past romance will ruin your life as well as hers. The reason why you cannot forget her still is probably because you did not seek closure in the relationship. Instead of just keeping quiet and walking away, if you had told her that it is over, things would have been easier. You have to clear your muddled mind and move on. If you keep pining for her, it will make things even difficult for you. As love endures, you still keep thinking about her. Perhaps she might not be remembering you and has moved on. Let things remain as it is. Do not even think of going back in the past.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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