'I can't handle her temper tantrums...'

Feb 05, 2016, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

My girlfriend loses her temper at the drop of a hat. She has severe anger management issues...

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend loses her temper at the drop of a hat. She has severe anger management issues. When she loses her cool, she goes haywire. The other day we were at a shopping mall when she created a scene. The problem arose when I disagreed with her. She had selected a shirt for me which I did not like. I felt it was too jazzy for me. I expressed my reservations and she hit the roof. All eyes were on us in the shop and I walked off. This infuriated her even more and she followed me screaming at the top of her voice. I have vowed never to visit that mall again. It was so embarrassing in front of the attendants. After this incident, I have told her to calm down, but she refuses to listen. The problem is that when she is nice, she is extremely sweet and caring. But when she loses her cool, she lets out verbal volleys. How do I help her contain her anger?
— Ramesh

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Ramesh,
Your girl has serious anger management issues. She appears to have an extreme personality — when she is nice, she's too good, but when she's upset you have to incur her wrath. For starters, when she loses her cool at home, record her doings. Show it to her when she is in one of her sombre moods. Hopefully, sense will prevail when she sees herself going berserk. If not, sit down with her and explain to her the agony she causes to people around her when she gets angry. Ask her if she would tolerate if you would scream and holler at her. She would definitely not take any of the nonsense. If talking and explaining to her fails, then she needs help. She needs to go for counselling or do a meditation course. Yoga can also help. There are many people who have anger management issues and need help to contain it.

Diana will solve it!
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