I can't seem to get over my past relation
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I have been struggling to come to terms with the end of a relationship, but my heart is broken, and nothing makes sense. I have a lot of resentment and have been trying to find some peace within myself, but nothing works. How do I resolve this?
Grief takes its time with us and there is no rule book on how long it takes each of us to process it. The only thing you can do is wait.
My mother keeps asking me about marriage, even though I have told her repeatedly that I am not interested. I was with a guy for five years, and my mother assumed I would marry him. I wasn't sure about it, and we eventually broke up, but she now thinks I don't know how to make up my mind. She thinks I'm flaky and hard to please, which is not the case at all because I usually know exactly what I want. She's a single parent and is getting old, so she wants me to marry just so she doesn't have to worry about me. I think this is unfair because I am very confident about deciding to marry when I know I want to. I've been trying to convince her for a long time now, but her insistence is beginning to wear me down. How do I get away from this pressure without hurting her?
You know she means well, and being a single parent obviously makes her feel more vulnerable in some way. And while it's easy to point out that you are under no pressure to marry anyone you don't want to, dealing with parental pressure can be hard. I suggest you weigh your options though and recognise that giving in to please her now may make her happy but can mean you giving up on the best years of your life with someone you don't really want to be with. Making your mother happy is important but sacrificing your life for this is not the answer.
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