I don't want to rush into marriage
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I turned 30 last year and he is 28. He recently asked me to marry him, and I agreed. This has made him very happy, but I am beginning to have serious doubts about my decision. I don't know if I agreed to his proposal because I genuinely want to spend my life with him, or because I am worried about being alone in my thirties. I know this isn't the right reason to accept a marriage proposal, so I feel as if I said yes only out of desperation. I am thinking of rejecting the proposal but, if I do that, I don't think our relationship will survive. I don't want that to happen either. What should I do?
People accept proposals for all kinds of reasons, and also second guess them because a lifelong commitment tends to make most of us afraid. It isn't something to be taken lightly, so you are right to question your decision. What you should also look at, however, is whether or not your boyfriend's presence in your life matters. Will you be okay without him around? If you don't want this relationship to end, but don't want to agree to marriage either, it simply means you would like more time to arrive at a decision. There is nothing wrong with telling him that you need more time and explaining that a decision this big can't necessarily be taken in a hurry. If he is a reasonable man who wants you in his life too, there should be no reason for him not to agree. You shouldn't rush into anything you're not comfortable with, and certainly not something as monumental as marriage.
Is it okay for me to go on holiday without my girlfriend? My friends want me to go with them, but she has been fighting with me about it. She thinks it's wrong, but I don't know what the problem is.
I don't know what the problem is either.
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