'I don't know why she stopped talking to me'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I have been working abroad for the past 12 years. I met a girl at my previous company and we bonded. She moved to India four years ago. We are both married, but are very close. We shared a lot of things until December 2017, when she suddenly started saying I was not giving her enough time. I was dealing with some financial issues at the time, which is why I was busy and she knew this. I wanted to surprise her by going to India this January, but she was not ready to meet me. She didn't give me a reason and is now ignoring me. She has blocked me on WhatsApp and doesn't take my calls. What should I do? I don't even know what my mistake was. Should I try contacting her again? She is very special to me and I can't lose her. Her happiness is more important to me than anything else, but living in this state of suspense is hurting me all the time. Please help.
— Vipul R
There's not much you can do, to be honest. It doesn't sound like she is interested in being in touch with you, and the fact that you are both married may have a lot to do with this decision. I'm not sure what sort of relationship you hope to have with her, but it's obvious that she has made a choice. She has blocked you, which is a fairly straightforward message. You also point out that her happiness is all that matters, in which case allowing her to stick to her decision shouldn't be a problem. I don't understand what you mean by 'living in a state of suspense' either, because it's not as if she has promised you some sort of relationship other than her friendship. I suggest you spend some time trying to understand what expectations you have from her, and whether or not they are pragmatic, given the realities of your individual situations.
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