I don't trust her after she cheated...

Updated: May 23, 2020, 04:23 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I don't trust her anymore and am constantly overthinking things because I assume she is lying

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picMy girlfriend cheated on me two times, and I forgave her because she said she would never do it again. I don't think she will, but I am still struggling with what her actions did to me. I don't trust her anymore and am constantly overthinking things because I assume she is lying. This cannot go on like this because it is making me paranoid. Can this relationship be saved?

It cannot unless you address this lack of trust. It can take a long time to rebuild what has been lost, and the paranoia is understandable given the circumstances and what has occurred. Try and acknowledge that you have agreed to forgive her though and recognise that forgiveness is the first step towards accepting that you are ready to trust again. It won't be easy, but your inability to let go won't make this any easier.

I need to understand if a girl I know is flirting with me or just being the way she is. She holds my hand sometimes, when we're walking, and puts her head on my shoulder when we go to watch a movie with friends. She is single and knows I am single too, but we have never discussed anything about how we feel. I have seen her hold the hands of other guys because we are a bunch of close friends, so I don't know if I am misreading her actions. How do I find out?

You can continue doing things the way you have and wait for her to be comfortable enough to talk about her feelings. Alternatively, if you think you know her well enough and want to clarify what these gestures mean, you can always broach the subject. Reading too much into her gestures can lead to awkwardness, of course, so I suggest you give this some time and wait for a more definitive sign before proceeding. If she wants to tell you something, she won't try and hide her feelings for very long.

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