'I don't want him to look at other women'

Updated: Aug 30, 2019, 07:51 IST | DR Love

He keeps saying it's harmless whenever I ask him about it, but I am possessive about him and don't like it when he stares at someone

'I don't want him to look at other women'
Illustrations/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveWhat can I do to make sure my boyfriend doesn't cheat on me? I have seen him look at other women often and it bothers me a lot. He keeps saying it's harmless whenever I ask him about it, but I am possessive about him and don't like it when he stares at someone. I know this is unreasonable, but I would like him to stop.
So, you recognise this as unreasonable, and acknowledge being possessive, but want him to stop staring at other women? He can stop while you're around, if it bothers you as much as it does, but what is to stop him from staring at them when you aren't around? Is there any particular reason why you believe he will cheat on you? Has he given you any indication of this in the past, or are you jumping to conclusions? A strong relationship relies heavily on trust, which is what I would urge you to cultivate. As long as your boyfriend isn't doing anything disrespectful, there is no reason to assume he will cheat simply because he happens to be staring at someone. Also, in case you haven't noticed, we live in a country where staring ought to be declared a national pastime.

I know my girlfriend's smart phone password and am tempted to read her chats with her friends to see if they discuss me. I know this is wrong, but I am tempted. Should I do it if it's harmless? She won't find out and I would really like to know if she is genuinely in love with me.
Would you be happy with an invasion of your privacy if you didn't know about it? If your girlfriend discusses you with her friends, doesn't she have that right and that prerogative? Would you be okay with her eavesdropping on conversations between you and your friends? Being in a relationship doesn't give one the right to invade the other person's personal space.

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