'I don't want to be a stepmom'

Updated: Jun 14, 2019, 07:23 IST | Dr Love

I know he cares about me, but I also have a feeling he is looking for someone to mother his children

'I don't want to be a stepmom'

Dr LoveI have been dating a divorced man who has two young children. He is almost a decade older than I am, but we are madly in love with each other. I know he cares about me, but I also have a feeling he is looking for someone to mother his children. He needs someone to look after his family because his ex-wife has left for another country, and I don’t know if I am ready to do that. Help!
I’m not sure how I can help, because this really depends entirely upon how you want this relationship to evolve. It’s obvious that you can’t have him without his children, and his need for someone to help him care for his children is perfectly logical. I suggest you spend time trying to understand what you want out of this, and what you are prepared to do. The age difference and presence of children is secondary to how you feel about him and a future together.

I have been with a very nice guy for six months now but am seriously considering ending this relationship because he is uninteresting. He’s kind and sweet, but I am always bored to tears whenever we go out because he has nothing to say. I don’t want to hurt his feelings either because he is a great guy. What do I do?
You want to have your cake and eat it too. If you can’t sustain this relationship, you are being unfair to yourself as well as to him because you are giving him the impression that everything is okay. If you really don’t see this working out, you owe it to him to be honest about how you feel.

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