I fall in and out of love too easily!

Published: 25 December, 2019 06:19 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I would like to take things slow for a change, and get to know someone, but can't seem to stop being so hasty with my feelings

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI fall in love a little too easily, and always end up being disappointed as a result. I meet someone new, and immediately start to think of a future together. A few months in, the scales fall off and I start to see that the person I thought I was in love with is completely different. I would like to take things slow for a change, and get to know someone, but can't seem to stop being so hasty with my feelings. How do I resolve this?

There is nothing to resolve. If you wear your heart on your sleeve all the time, that is just who you are. Don't try and change how you feel, or be someone you are not. Yes, the chances of being hurt are higher when you let yourself go without understanding a person, but life is about learning lessons, and you will only get better at this. We learn to separate wheat from chaff as we get older and understand other human beings better. You will too. Until then, go with your instinct. Beating yourself up for something you can't control won't solve anything.

I have been in an unhappy marriage for almost five years now and am desperate to end it. I have recently started to have feelings for a colleague at work, and think she likes me, too. We don't talk about our personal lives much, so I don't know anything about her. Should I have an affair?

How exactly will having an affair make this problem go away? An affair actually makes a bad situation worse. If you really want to get out of this relationship, focus on that possibility first. To begin something new, it always makes sense to start with a clean slate. Speak to your partner, talk about why you want out, and arrive at a mutual understanding before asking your colleague out. Jumping from the frying pan into a potential fire with a stranger won't make life any easier.

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