I feel guilty of my past relationships

Updated: Mar 09, 2019, 08:28 IST | Dr Love

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I feel guilty of my past relationships

Dr LoveI have been dating someone for a month now, and have begun to feel guilty about my past. He hasn't had as many relationships as I have, so I feel as if I should talk to him about why I had so many partners. Am I being paranoid about this? He thinks I have only had a couple of men in my life before, when the truth is I have been with more than 10. What should I do?
I'm not sure why you feel guilty for your past when it has nothing to do with his. Have you lied about it or withheld information? If you haven't discussed your past, it is your prerogative alone to do so. You don't have to justify why you did what you did because your choices and your life are your own. It has no bearing on your current relationship either, and the number of people one has relationships with is a matter of personal choice and consent between adults. Why are you allowing that past to ruin your present or future? It has only been a month since this relationship began; why not give it some time and then think about how you feel or what you would like to explain?

I used to love my friends a lot, but haven't felt that kind of affection towards them lately because I don't think they value me much. It doesn't matter if I meet them or not, or if I attend any party thrown by them, because my presence or absence doesn't affect them in any way. Is this just how things are between people in today's busy times?
There is no manual on how friends must behave, nor is it true that busy times make everyone dispensable. If you feel unwanted or ignored, why can't you tell your friends how you feel? Why assume they know what you are going through? If they still leave you with that impression, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship with them.

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