'I feel I love him more than he does...'

Apr 10, 2014, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

I am 27 and currently in my first serious relationship with a 28-year-old man.

Dear Diana,
I am 27 and currently in my first serious relationship with a 28-year-old man. I must admit that I am completely addicted to him. I cry at the thought of us being separated for even a week. I want to spend as much time with him as possible, but then I have had my share of heartbreaks before and always look at my relationships with a pessimistic approach. I am constantly thinking that he doesn't love me as much as I love him. I want to stop that thought but I some how can't.
— Anuja

 Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Anuja,
You need to stop worrying and live the moment. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings, so enjoy the present. Your incessant worrying can be a cause of friction between you and your partner. You seem to be playing out mental scenarios of doom, failure and fatal consequences. Stop thinking about what if this happens or what if that happens. Right now nothing is happening, so stop worrying. Try meditation and yoga which will help you relax and stay calm.

Dear Diana,
I'm 38 and constantly feeling guilty all the time, even when people are trying to be nice to me, and it frustrates people. This only makes me feel more guilty and so it goes on. This has gone on for about six months now and is only getting worse. Six months ago, I walked out of my marriage and decided to file for divorce. Since then, I'm having these pangs of emotional outbursts where I find myself blaming myself for everything that goes wrong.
— Karthik

Dear Karthik,
Instead of wallowing in self-pity, you need to take stock of the situation and more importantly your life. Get out of the rut. You are going through an emotional upheaval in your life. You feel nothing you do is good enough and everything is your fault. Seek counselling urgently.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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