I feel she is with me only to forget her ex

Updated: Jul 25, 2020, 04:12 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

The thing is, I still feel as if she doesn't really care about me and just wants to be with me to get her ex out of her mind

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveMy girlfriend and I have been together for two months now, a year after I first told her about my feelings for her. At the time, she was very clear that she could never be with me because she wasn't even remotely interested. She dated someone else for a while, and that relationship ended badly, after which she and I got together. The thing is, I still feel as if she doesn't really care about me and just wants to be with me to get her ex out of her mind. Should I continue being with her or end this until she has more clarity?

If she is with you, for whatever reason, it's hard to presume that she is doing this just to get someone else out of her mind. She has to invest a part of herself into this relationship to make it work and is probably just taking her time to understand you better. This isn't to say you're reading this wrong, but I would suggest you spend more time with her and get to know her a little better before jumping to conclusions. Your feelings towards her have been around longer, and are stronger than hers, so why not let her get to know you and arrive at that same place of affection? If it doesn't happen, she will let you know soon enough anyway.

I accepted my boyfriend's past and his many ex-girlfriends but, whenever we fight, he constantly brings up my own exes. He can't seem to move past them, and it makes me angry because these double standards will make it difficult for me to see a future with him. Is there anything I can do to make him see things from my perspective?

They are double standards and you should call him out on them. Tell him why you believe this makes a future together difficult and, if he is serious about making this work, he will have to find a way to accept your past or let you go.

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