I feel unattractive next to my wife...

Updated: 30 September, 2020 07:04 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

She has started to attract attention in our building, and I am a little worried because I don't want her to have an affair.

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI have been married for over a decade and my wife and I have been happy together. Recently, she decided to start an exercise regimen and lose weight, which worked very well. She looks great, and now dresses very differently from how she used to. She has started to attract attention in our building, and I am a little worried because I don't want her to have an affair. I haven't lost weight and now look unattractive when I walk alongside her, which is why I am worried. What should I do?

First of all, your lack of faith and trust in your wife should worry you, given the years you have spent together and the happiness you claim. If you believe she will have an affair, for no apparent reason other than the fact that she looks better than ever, that says more about you than it does about her. If you are worried about how she looks, nothing stops you from putting in the work and making the same effort to look better. If this boosts her confidence and allows her to feel better about herself, why is that a problem? I suggest you think about where this insecurity is coming from, before it turns into resentment that may be completely unfair.

Should I let my fiancé's ex-girlfriend come to our wedding? I know she will cause some trouble, but he is very keen, and I can't refuse. But, I am afraid it will ruin our special day. What do I do?

This is the beginning of your new life together, and you have every right to put your foot down if you believe it will ruin the ceremony. Having said that, your husband probably has a good reason for wanting his ex-girlfriend there, given how important the day obviously is for him, too. Don't let an argument ruin this. Use it as a testing ground to discuss both sides and arrive at a compromise that works for you both.

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First Published: 30 September, 2020 07:02 IST


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