I gave up everyone for him, but he's changed

Updated: Jul 29, 2020, 04:54 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I gave up all contact with my family because they told me they would disown me if I went against their wishes

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

pixMissed out on last week's Zal? You can read it heI have been in a live-in relationship with my boyfriend for two years. We didn't have it easy because my parents didn't want me to be with him. I disagreed and fought with them for him. I gave up all contact with my family because they told me they would disown me if I went against their wishes. Now, when I have no one but my boyfriend, he seems to have changed. He doesn't love me the way he used to and still has friends and family when I have no one to turn to. I am financially independent, so I don't feel trapped, but I constantly question whether it was worth losing so much for someone who doesn't acknowledge it. What should I do?

If you are financially independent, and this isn't working out the way you thought it would, it may make sense to draw up a list of priorities based on which you can decide what you want to do next. Try reaching out to your family for a start, because they may miss you the way you miss them. Also speak to your boyfriend about why things aren't working out and give him a chance to change if he values this relationship.

My husband and I have been talking about starting a family for a long time. He sometimes says he is ready and, when I get my hopes up, changes his mind saying we are not financially ready yet. It is starting to bother me because I don't know if he is serious about this. I was always very clear about having kids, and this indecision on his part is threatening our marriage. How can we resolve this?

Children can't be forced upon a partner because that can lead to resentment at a future date. All you can do is give your husband reasons for why now is as good a time as any and ask him to commit to what the two of you may have promised each other before you married.

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