'I get way to involved in the work I do...'

Updated: Jul 13, 2020, 07:08 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

It will require a certain amount of patience on your part, because his insecurities obviously have reasons for existing and will need to be addressed in time

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI sometimes feel as if I am an entirely different person with a different mentality. The person I love wants me to spend time with her, but I can't, because of daily chores like meetings, e-learning and things like that. One problem I find in me is that I get extremely involved in the work I do, even if it is a small task. I get involved to such an extent that I forget everything else. Is that a problem? What should I do?
— Aanna
Why do you think of it as a problem? If is a habit, and if you recognise or believe that it is preventing you from doing things that are equally or more important, it is a habit that can be broken. You can't blame yourself for being engrossed with work, because that happens with anyone who takes what they do seriously. Spending time with your partner is important though, unless you believe it isn't high on your list of priorities. I suggest you speak to her about this, try and explain why you struggle to compartmentalise your life in a way that allows you to pay attention to everything you need to, and arrive at a compromise that works for you both. Maybe a weekend dedicated to her with nothing related to work?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now, and he is constantly insecure about our relationship. He always asks me if I am happy with him, and is usually worried that I will end this, even though there is no reason for him to be so concerned. How do I deal with this?
It will require a certain amount of patience on your part, because his insecurities obviously have reasons for existing and will need to be addressed in time. Getting to know him better, and allowing him to open up more, will give you a better idea of why he feels this way. This will also go a long way towards diminishing his specific fears.

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