I have a crush on my classmate
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I have a huge crush on my classmate, but it's late to tell her because we have been together in college for two years now and it ends soon. We are still in touch, and I do want to tell her how I feel. At the same time, the problem is I fear our friendship has run its course. I can't tell her how I have felt for the past three years without it being awkward. How do I do this?
— Nagesh G
There is no real deadline on when you can or cannot tell someone how you feel. Your friendship doesn't really have much of an effect here, because it doesn't pertain to what you want to tell this person. If she reciprocates, it will mean your relationship will change for the better. If she says she doesn't feel the same way, nothing will change the current situation you are in, and you may simply have to accept that and move on with your life. Either way, you don't seem to have anything to lose by having this conversation. At the very least, you will have a definite answer rather than be forced to speculate on what could have been. I suggest you ask her out for a cup of coffee, tell her that you are aware of how your friendship has cooled, and explain why you haven't been able to tell her about your real feelings for the past three years. There's no point waiting another year to work up the courage.
My best friend wants me to open up about my personal life, but I don't feel comfortable about this because my childhood was traumatic. I don't know how to explain this to her. What should I say?
Friendship, like any relationship, evolves with time. You have to say exactly what you just said, which is that you may not be able to open up about a traumatic period just yet. A true friend will always understand and give you the space you need.
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