'I have a mental block regarding sex'

Updated: 14 September, 2020 07:17 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I can't enjoy it mentally. My body gets turned on and I do the right things, but my mind never feels as if it is on board.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

My husband and I were married a few months ago, but I haven't been able to enjoy sex. We always knew it would take me a while to get comfortable with it, because we discussed it often during the 3 years we dated. I come from a conservative family and thought I had a mental block about sex before marriage being a sin. Eventually though, we assumed marriage would get rid of my issues. Unfortunately, it has not. I can't enjoy it mentally. My body gets turned on and I do the right things, but my mind never feels as if it is on board. I have tried lying to my husband by telling him I enjoy it, and he worries about it a lot. I have told him I have no problem with things continuing this way, but it hurts him because he knows I don't enjoy it completely. I don't know what to do. Is therapy the only option? I don't know how comfortable I would be with that. Please help.
— HP

If you aren't comfortable with therapy, I would suggest you stop focusing on this and look at other things that are going well in your relationship. You and your husband are doing the right thing by talking about how you feel, and his interest in your pleasure is great because that is the kind of support you need. It's okay to have what you refer to as a mental block, because our attitudes towards sex are shaped by our environment and you probably have some unlearning to do. I suggest you and your husband start with smaller things that give you pleasure. Try being more honest about what works for you and what doesn't. Trust is also an essential part of this process because you will need to be honest if you want to try and genuinely enjoy a sense of intimacy. It's obvious that this has more to do with your mind than your body, so take as much time as you need.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

Keep scrolling to read more news

Catch up on all the latest Mumbai news, crime news, current affairs, and a complete guide from food to things to do and events across Mumbai. Also download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get latest updates.

Mid-Day is now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@middayinfomedialtd) and stay updated with the latest news

First Published: 14 September, 2020 04:05 IST


DR Love

Sign up for all the latest news, top galleries and trending videos from Mid-day.com

loading image
This website uses cookie or similar technologies, to enhance your browsing experience and provide personalised recommendations. By continuing to use our website, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. OK