I have become obsessed with sex!

Updated: Jun 06, 2020, 10:44 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I bought myself a sex toy and have been afraid of showing it to her because I don't know how she will react

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI think I have an obsession with sex, and it is starting to bother me because I don't know how to talk to my girlfriend about it. I bought myself a sex toy and have been afraid of showing it to her because I don't know how she will react. She is not a prude, but I don't want to frighten her or give her the wrong impression of who I am as a person because it may harm our relationship. What should I do?

Why will discussing how you feel about sex damage your relationship? Couples are supposed to talk about their physical needs, because this is important, and because the ability to discuss things you aren't comfortable with only makes a relationship stronger. If you are worried about this being an obsession, to a point where it is affecting your day-to-day life, you should consider the option of speaking to a therapist first, if only to get some reassurance. If not, you can always try having a discussion with your girlfriend and see how she feels about the topic. Either way, keeping this to yourself and stifling your urges isn't going to be good for you in the long run.

Dating is difficult for me because I keep wanting things to get serious and they take forever. I have tried apps and met a lot of guys, but they all take a long time to decide if they want a relationship. How can I make this faster?

You can't. Getting into a relationship isn't like ordering fast food. People take time to consider others, and it is great that they do, because jumping into something isn't always right for everyone. You may always find someone who feels the same way you do, but that will happen only if you continue to meet as many people as you can. I suggest you keep doing that, try and be more patient, and wait until you find a connection that works for you as well as the other person.

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